Loving Message: Relationship competition is behavior based on misalignment. Recognize it for what it is and take a different approach.
Today is the 9th birthday of my youngest son and it is the end of the weekend. He requested that I throw him a birthday party so I gave it my best shot and, unfortunately, only 2 boys showed up after his best friend canceled. When I received the email from this boy’s mom, I knew exactly what happened. My soon to be ex-husband threw him a birthday party at his house yesterday and it was much bigger and more expensive than mine.
~ Birthday Party ~
At first when I realized what had happened, I became very angry and sad about it. “How unfair,” I thought, remembering the hour I spent the day before blowing up balloons for the final touch. Luckily, I got over it and the boys had a lot of fun. When the smallest boy left with a goody bag, his mother apologized to me that he did not bring a present because he brought it yesterday to the reptile man party.
And with her comment, I realized the ridiculous-ness of the situation. My soon to be ex had wanted to be invited to the party I was throwing, but I knew better, so off we went on a party competition charade. I did not know of the reptile man plans until the last moment, so I could not have changed the plans this time, however, I will behave differently for the next party. My youngest son has already agreed that come his birthday, he will allow his dad to throw him the biggest party on the block… and we will have a quiet celebration, just us.
My worth of a mother is in no way related to my ability to throw a birthday party, and my boys know it.
In Peace, Beth
“It’s ever so much more satisfying to get into a blissful place and attract a blissful person and live blissfully hereafter than to be in a negative place and attract a negative partner and then try to get happy from that negative place.”
— Abraham
bbbethbuckley 